The goddess of me

And, after every single war, you are still God. After every single bloodshed in your name, you remain my Lord and Mistress. You are the god of me and every dead and live cell that has ever been me. You are the god of my blood and tears. You are the god of my sins and murders.

My every thought and act has you as an inner reason. Still, I am but a sinner, for I hide my love and faith for you. I hide it and sin because you bring only doom. But you were once salvation, were you not? Will you deny the temptation you placed before me?

Alas, you are also a turncoat. You are and always will be my goddess, be it in thoughts or memories, but you decided to the be the goddess of them too. All them unworthy of tasting your blood, tears, and thoughts. I am not against mercy, do not misunderstand me, but I do hate to see gods reduced to be mere tools. But is that not what we all are to them gods? Tools waiting to be discarded?

Goddess of mine, I'd not only say but also listen to your prayers. But that is not how it works. Gods are not shepherds, for they forget about their sheep and remember only the wolves.